Author Renee Savage

I don’t know if anyone else has written something they loved, felt so inspired by, wanted the whole world to read… and then shoved it in a drawer at the thought of someone in their family reading it.

When I was in elementary school I wrote a story about a couple of adventurers who eventually met a witch in a big white castle. Although new to the concepts of romance and flirting, I wanted to include a romance between one of my characters and this witch. So I wrote that he pinched her butt as a sign of interest. (I do not condone this today… home girl just didn’t know stuff.)

Unfortunately, my little sister found it, read it, and then tattled to mom that I had written about butt pinching. I got a firm talking to and I became very secretive about my writing after that. I was always doing it… but you would have to look hard to find it. That is my origin story for being a very shy writer.

Today, I am inspired by fantasy and romance. I love adventure, action, and heat. As a reader, I’ve read the gamut from clean, inspirational romance to… well, the other end. My mother is vaguely aware that I read so called “dirty” books from time to time, and she has voiced her displeasure often. She has always encouraged my writing however and praised the few things I’ve shared with her. However, Part of me cringes at the thought of her reading a sex scene I’ve written even as I know there is no way the story moves forward without it.

This isn’t a blog post with any solutions or answers, just a commentary on a feeling many of us are familiar with. Being any type of creative person requires a certain amount of bravery I think, because what we create makes us very vulnerable. People critiquing our stories, paintings, and efforts feels like a commentary on ourselves and our inner most being.

Actual story criticism I can live with. Tell me my characters don’t feel fully fleshed out or that I have plot holes, poor sentence structure, and an unsatisfying ending. But please don’t break my heart by telling me you really didn’t care for it or that it was gross. You can tell me you aren’t normally into romance, but if you tell me you’re morally opposed to romance… I can’t help but take it personally.

However, I am trying not to take it personally. It’s not my business what other people think or believe. More importantly, it isn’t my priority to please someone who was never going to be in my audience in the first place. Someone out there is going to love my book, all parts, and I shouldn’t keep that from them because of what my parents might say.

That’s a big and brave statement, but it isn’t actually an easy one to live. I still have to go home for Thanksgiving and answer their pointed (or disappointed) questions, but my reader doesn’t. Worse, even if no one says anything to me at all… I have to live with the worst my brain can imagine them thinking about me.

Now you might be saying, “Do you have an anxiety issue?” Maybe. But I also have a pen name, and I think that is just as good as any other cure you could get.

In the meantime, if someone asks to read my writing